Forget the Debate

Something in that 20 year olds life was traumatizing. Something traumatized him and because of that, he has now traumatized a country.

Let me begin by stating that I am in no way looking for any sort of debate by writing this article. I am writing it as a way for myself to process what has happened, continue to establish my beliefs in the life that my wife and I are creating and to possibly help people understand my beliefs in why these things are happening. Specifically, the events that recently happened in Connecticut and my belief that mental trauma is the cause of it.  I work with a very distinct population of students who often times suffer some sort of mental trauma. Does this make me an expert? Absolutely not. Does it give me perception? Unmistakeably. Will my beliefs align with yours? Perhaps. Will they enrage you? Perhaps. Will they encourage you to stop and think differently about the world around us? I hope.


I first want to talk about what I believe has created many of the issues we face in our lives today. Mental Trauma.  What is mental trauma? When I personally think of mental trauma I think of an apple.The apple and brain are two things with similar characteristics. How so? An apple by all appearances is a somewhat strong looking object. You could pass it, throw it, you can drop it, you could nick it. An apple looks and appears strong. What may happen though as you look closer at an apple after these things have happened is that you may begin to notice scars, imperfections or "trauma". Now think of our brain. We can do limitless things with it. Some people hold it gently, treat it with a caring respect. Some people essentially throw it, hit it, kick it "traumatize it". Sometimes peoples brains are thrown, hit, kicked, abused, "traumatized" by powers outside of their control.

Mental trauma is as serious an issue as anything going on in our world today. Mental trauma is the problem. Mental trauma is what we can help with.  When and how does mental trauma happen?

• Mental, verbal, physical abuse
• Before, after, or during childhood
• During the teen years
• During adulthood
• Video games (WOW, does it ever)
• Movies 
• Other forms of abuse

Every single second of our lives has the potential to create mental trauma. I firmly believe video games, and lack of quality relationships are the problem. We can sit and argue gun control, we can argue about how to make schools safer, but we need to get to the real issue. The real issue is that our country has a glaring problem of kids growing up with adults who do not protect them, work with them and help develop them to their fullest potential. Instead they are left on their own. They fill gaps of time with video games and video watching.

No matter if you agree or disagree with my statements on mental trauma, I think what is important is that we can all agree that we need to find ways to deal with what is happening in the world around us. How can we make sense of this?

Some people will choose to take the feelings of recent events with hate, anger, disbelief and some might choose to hole it up. Some people will talk about it. Some will write about it. Some people have a belief in a god to help their understanding. Some people may instead choose to have a  belief in "karma", filling our world with a positive energy with the understanding that with enough positive energy, we can help others. Some may believe that our world works in the pendulum effect (all things go far one way, come back to the middle and then far to another). Where do your beliefs fall? What helps you with these events? I can't beg you enough to think about your beliefs, reflect on them and hold strong in them during times like these. You may believe in a god, you may believe in an energy, you may believe in family, you may believe in all. No matter your beliefs, take the time to reflect on them and believe in them. Without your reflection, is when we should become fearful.

Ask yourself:   What are your beliefs
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Stay strong, believe in them.

Now - take your beliefs and think of the people in your life. Are you nurturing them? Are you helping them to nurture their own selves? I have seen countless examples of helpless children who need caring, loving support. I've seen people who want to give help but aren't sure how. I have also seen people who are giving support, but are having to undo the work of previous damage. I know kids who have gone through trauma and abuse, you couldn't begin to imagine. These kids need help, the talk of gun control may be part of the problem but really these kids are the issue.

We could say we need more funding, more support, more workers for our country but that is a long time off. We could sit and argue security or gun control and the debate could and will rage on for years. I'm saying right now you can help, I hope one thing you consider is reflecting on your beliefs and including in them the fact you can make a difference. Stop rushing from here to there, stop walking by that kid sitting by himself and talk. Don't just talk, listen. Stop your life, stop your routine, and help a child start to find something to believe in. In every single corner, of every single town there is a child who needs your support. There is a student, a neighbor, a child who needs to know that someone cares about them, someone to help point them in the right direction.

In almost every city and every school district their are mentor programs, big brother big sister programs and countless other programs for adults to volunteer at. Volunteer at these. Maybe these programs aren't for you. FINE. Reach out to kids in your community. Perhaps your family has considered adoption. Look into it, go to meetings, decide if it's for you. You personally can do something. Help a neighbor kid, build a relationship, help a child discover his or her beliefs. Don't sit back and let the real issues grow. The real issue is that kids need our guidance.  NOW